By Bilbo's Beard!
by GreenScholar9
Summary: Bilbo has just left the Shire in the Company of Thorin Oakenshield. He's having a wee bit of trouble fitting in with this raucous group of dwarves though. Well, if there's one thing that dwarves like better than working with precious metals, its braiding beards and hair. So one night Fili and Kili decide to 'fix' Bilbo's sad lack of style on both his head and feet!


The Company of Thorin Oakenshield had put the sleepy green hills of Hobbiton behind them not two days before, but Bilbo Baggins was already vigorously questioning his decision to leave his cozy home at Bag End. His backside was getting quite sore from the many hours spent in the saddle, he hadn't had a decent second breakfast or even afternoon tea for that matter, and the dwarves were rather difficult to settle in with. They had been plenty loud and raucous enough when they were all crammed into Bilbo's hobbit hole, and that had not changed with being out on the road. However, the vast majority of their jests and merry banter was exchanged between one another, leaving Bilbo feeling rather on the outskirts. The wizard Gandalf was friendly enough to the 'burglar' of the company, when he felt so inclined as to drop his horse back beside Bilbo's for a chat. Balin, the elderly statesman of the group, was also fairly welcoming. For the most part though, the thirteen dwarves laughed and shouted back and forth to one another without much thought of the still-introverted hobbit.

Two of the youngest members of the company took note of this. Kili and Fili thought Bilbo Baggins to be rather un-entertaining on first impression. To the merry heirs of Durin, even Thorin's dour retorts and reprimands were more amusing than the hobbit's rather shell-shocked silence. Bilbo was very different from the dwarves in many ways. He wore no armor, carried no weapons, wore no shoes, and quite interestingly did nothing in the way of braiding with his curly hair. In dwarvish culture, the styling and plaiting of hair and beards is practically an art form. To see the hobbit seemingly so oblivious as to the un-kept tragedy atop his head was quite perplexing to Kili and Fili. Ever since they had been dwarflings knee-high to a human, the brothers had been taught the basics of how to care for their hair in proper fashion. It was every dwarf-lad's dream to one day grow a beard so long and thick that it took extensive beard cases and designs to manage. Fili had already begun his journey to that end; his mustache only four years previous had become long enough to style, a fact which he was exceedingly proud of. Kili as yet did not have much to work with, so he settled for a metal clasp to pin his hair back for the time being. It was something of a ritual for the two brothers; they would rise early in the morning and spend perhaps fifteen minutes if they could spare it brushing and braiding. And so, they hatched a plan to correct Bilbo Baggin's state of disarray while helping him to fit in with their company at the same time.

That night when Fili had the watch, he roused Kili. Together, the two of them crept upon the spot where the hobbit slept soundly on his blankets. The buzzing snores escaping from Bilbo's nose assured them that they could proceed with their plot. Because Kili had the most practice having assisted Fili for so many years, he was assigned the most delicate task...they simply could not leave all that curly hair atop the hobbit's feet unattended after all! Moving smoothly and cautiously, the dwarf brothers settled themselves at either end of Bilbo's sleeping form and set to work. Kili's hands deftly wove a fine pattern of alternating small and large plaits into the top of Bilbo's feet, while Fili gave him a hairstyle not entirely unlike Bofur's. It was rather difficult working with hair so much shorter than what they were accustomed to, but they made the best of it. When Bilbo sighed and twitched in his sleep, both dwarves froze in mid-plait. However, the hobbit merely shifted slightly and resumed dreaming. Kili and Fili exchanged a conspirators' grin before returning to their handiwork.

The next morning, all of the dwarves in the company looked at Bilbo with expressions ranging all the way from stunned to beaming approval. Dori especially was pleased; he clapped the Hobbit on the shoulder and greeted their drowsy burglar in a cheery voice. Bilbo, eyes still fogged from sleep, did not realize what all the dwarves were on about...until Gandalf spoke up.

"Ah Bilbo! It is good to see that you are making some attempt to embrace the customs of your traveling companions." The wizard kept his expression straight, but his eyes twinkled with such laughter that they gave him away. With dawning comprehension and a healthy degree of horrified indignation, Bilbo reached up first to feel the two braids on either side of his head. Then, he looked down, and for the first time saw the intricate cross-hatch pattern Kili had woven onto his feet. Bilbo's mouth opened and closed several times, as though he could not get the words to come out. Fili and Kili saved him the trouble of thanking them.

"We are ever so glad you like it Mister Baggins!"

"Yes, from now on you can join us every morning for braiding!"

Bilbo gaped at the two of them. Seeing the amusement on everyone's faces, including Gandalf and even Thorin, he at last gave up the attempt of making any sort of protest. Instead, the hobbit shrugged and looked to Bombur.

"Have you got any breakfast prepared? If I am going to travel with dwarves, I may as well eat like them too!"


End file.
